Gender Neutral Underwear: How to Find a Pair That Fits Your Body

Walk into most shops and the underwear is split down the middle. One side has pouches and thick waistbands. The other has lace, bows and bikini cuts. If neither feels like you, you end up standing between the two aisles, working out which compromise you can live with.

I know what it is to make do. When I first started tucking, nothing on the shelves was made for a body like mine, so I used industrial gaffer tape, and it hurt. I'm Robyn Electra, founder of Gaff and Go.

This guide covers what gender neutral underwear is, why gendered underwear lets so many of us down, what to look for, how to choose by what your body needs, and how to do all of it without spending a fortune.

WHAT IS GENDER NEUTRAL UNDERWEAR?

Gender neutral underwear is underwear cut around a body instead of a gender label. Nobody decides on your behalf that you need a pouch or a lace trim. You pick the cut, the rise and the front that suit you.

The front is where the real choice sits, and there are three main types. A pouch front has extra room built in, which is standard in men's underwear and useful if you pack. A flat front has no pouch and no compression, so it lies smooth without holding anything in place. A compression front, which is what a gaff is, holds a tuck flat under your clothes.

Knowing the difference saves you money and frustration. If you don't tuck, a gaff gives you more hold than you need. If you do tuck, a plain flat-front brief won't keep you in place. Start with the front, and the rest of the decision gets much easier.

WHY MEN'S AND WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR DOESN'T WORK FOR EVERYONE

Men's boxer briefs usually come with a pouch, and if you don't need it, that spare fabric bunches up and draws attention to exactly the place you'd rather it didn't. Women's styles swing the other way, with narrow crotch panels, high-cut legs and lace that can feel more like a costume than underwear.

For a lot of non-binary people, the only middle ground is a women's boyshort or a men's boxer, and even those come with strings attached. Multipacks slip in a pink pair you never asked for, the packaging leans hard one way, and the whole shop is laid out to make you pick a side before you've picked a size.

How you feel about your body can also change from one day to the next. A pair that feels right on Monday can feel wrong by Thursday. That's normal, and it's a good reason to build a drawer with more than one option in it.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN GENDER NEUTRAL UNDERWEAR

Begin with the front panel and match it to what you need: room, a flat lie or a firm hold. Then think about leg length. A boyshort leg usually sits a couple of inches down the thigh, and a longer boxer brief leg of four inches or more is less likely to ride up when you walk.

When people describe underwear that's well made, they usually mean three things: it's cotton, it doesn't ride up, and it survives the wash. Hold anything you buy to that test. Check the crotch while you're at it, because a double layer of fabric there wears far better than the single layer many men's styles use.

Look at where the waistband will sit on you. If you carry weight around your middle, a band that lands on your belly will roll, so choose one that sits below it or well above it. A wider band tends to stay put better than a thin one.

Size by measurement, not by the men's or women's size you're used to. Measure your waist and hips, then check the chart for each product, because sizing varies a lot between brands. And choose colors you like. Black, gray and nude go under anything, and nobody can make you keep the pink pair.

CHOOSING BY WHAT YOUR BODY NEEDS

Gaff and Go is one of the gender neutral underwear brands built around tucking, so I'll be clear about where we can help and where we can't.

If you tuck, you deserve something made for it. Plenty of us have made do with sports compression shorts or two pairs of tight underwear layered up, and none of it was designed to hold a tuck safely. Tucking briefs look and feel like familiar briefs with a flat front built in.

For a firmer hold, our tucking gaffs come in several cuts, and our tucking sports briefs wick moisture on active days. If you'll be wearing them for a long day, choose breathable fabric and a snug fit over the tightest hold you can find.

If you pack, look for a pocket that keeps your packer where you want it. Our packing underwear has a built-in pocket for exactly that, and if you're new to packing, our guide on what a packer is covers the basics.

If you'd like a flatter chest, our chest binders come from our sister brand, Bond and Binder. Measure carefully before you buy, and never size down for a flatter look, because a binder that's too tight is a safety problem. Our guide on how to measure for a binder walks you through it. If you'd like a fuller chest instead, our bras and bralettes have pockets for breast pads.

If you want a flat front without compression, or period underwear, we don't make those. Plenty of brands do, and our roundup of gender-affirming underwear brands is a good place to compare them.

GENDER NEUTRAL UNDERWEAR ON A BUDGET

Price comes up in almost every conversation about this. Specialist pairs can cost a lot, and when you need a drawer full of them, that adds up fast.

There are workarounds in regular stores. Women's boyshorts bought a size or two up read more masculine and give you more leg. Men's trunks bought a size down cut back on the spare fabric at the front, as long as they still fit your hips. Some stores sell "boxers" in their women's range that are cut like trunks with no pouch. Whatever you buy, check the crotch lining before you commit.

Multipacks help too. If tucking is what you need, our two-pair bundles across several gaff styles bring the cost per pair down. And if you can't afford gender-affirming underwear at all, you don't have to go without.

Our Pay It Forward Scheme uses donations to send free tucking underwear, bralettes and binders to trans and non-binary people who need them, in any country. To be considered, send us a message through our contact form or by email.

DRESSING FOR DAYS THAT CHANGE

If your gender shifts, your underwear drawer can shift with it. A small set of pieces that covers different days goes a long way, so you can reach for whatever fits how you feel that morning.

Our guide to gender fluid lingerie shows how to build that set, and if you'd like ideas for mixing masculine and feminine pieces, styling androgynous lingerie is a good place to start.

FINDING UNDERWEAR THAT FITS YOU

The right gender neutral underwear is the pair that suits your body and your day, whichever side of the shop it came from. Start with the front you need, hold everything you buy to the cotton, no-ride-up, survives-the-wash test, and give yourself room to change your mind.

If tucking is part of your day, the gaff finder asks six quick questions and points you to a style. If you have questions, our FAQs are a good starting point, or get in touch directly.